jonathanhickman.com

Introducing …

Weighing in at six pounds, twelve ounces, and 19 1/2 inches long:

Morning update:

No change.

No change, no change, no change, no change.

Damn.

Katie asked the nurse “Do people usually have C-Sections after they labor for five days?”

The nurse said “nobody lets themselves labor this long.”

edit: I forgot to mention one other thing. At about 4 this morning, the baby’s heart rate dropped. They were obviously able to get it back pretty promptly, but that’s one more sign that it’s time.

Day Five

Well, we have a plan.

I’m too tired to think too clearly, so forgive me for not being at my best. Here’s how it went down:

Yesterday morning (Sunday, right?) Katie started going into good, strong labor again. She’d been mostly in labor since Thursday morning, with the brief exception of some time off Friday afternoon when the doctors had her knocked out. For a while after Friday, though, the contractions were mostly irregular. That changed yesterday morning, as they started coming on strong every three minutes. They were so regular you could pretty much set your watch by them. And here’s something I hadn’t before thought about: since the contractions were coming every three minutes, and they were lasting 60-90 seconds each, Katie was literally having a contraction a little less than half of the day yesterday. Whew!

Anyway, we called the midwives, and yesterday afternoon we went in to be checked. Hoping for good news, we got nada. Just as she’d labored all day Thursday with no progress, she had now labored Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday without accomplishing anything more than exhaustion. A new plan was formed: go home, get something to eat, take walks around the neighborhood and baths in the tub. Try different positions and see what happens.

We met back at the birthing center at 10 Sunday night, hoping the contractions had accomplished something and that we’d be there to stay until the baby was born.

Once again, we were disappointed. Absolutely no progress had been made. And Katie was exhausted beyond words and nearly completely demoralized. Our midwife agreed that it was time to be more aggressive with little Charlotte. We were off to the hospital.

We got here last night around 11 with the idea that by 12 they would get her stuff that would get things rolling. Again, things didn’t go according to plan. They needed a good measure of Charlotte’s heart rate before they could start any drugs, and damn if my daughter isn’t such a wiggle worm that it took till nearly 2 in the morning to get ten minutes of recorded heart beats.

So at 2, I crashed on the couch as Katie’s work got harder. I woke up at 7:30 this morning after getting roughly five hours of fitful sleep (ie being woken up every 15-30 minutes), but Katie hadn’t slept in nearly 24 hours. We were eager to get tested for progress this morning, but it was nearly 9 before we were able to do so. At this point, Katie had been laboring Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and the first nine hours of Monday. And what did the midwife say when she checked her?

No progress. None.

Another new plan was formed. The nurses gave Katie more drugs, and we’d regroup at 2 to check on the progress. The drug they were giving her - I’m not going into specifics - usually takes several doses to work, so I was optimistic we’d hear good news at 2.

We didn’t.

It was time for another new plan, but we were running out of options. Katie hadn’t slept in roughly 30 hours, and she hadn’t eaten since the night before. She was exhausted physically and mentally, and the complete lack of any positive news was devastating.

We floundered for a new plan for a solid hour or more. I think everyone was so demoralized that it took us a while to get our bearings so we could move forward again.

And this is our new plan: Katie now hasn’t eaten in 24 hours and hasn’t slept in longer. We’re trying a different drug for the labor, which still hasn’t abated. And now Katie is happily drugged with an epidural. We’re going to regroup this time in twelve hours, at which point we’ll either have made some progress or we’ll schedule Charlotte’s arrival for 7:30 am. It sounds like my little girl with have a July 31 birthday!

This isn’t exactly how we’d hoped for this birth to go. We were going to do a natural birth in the water. We were not going to have an epidural, and I can’t even believe that a c-section is our plan B. Really, we aren’t even “supposed” to be doing this yet. But Katie’s body appears to be ready to give birth, and now it’s time for convincing Charlotte of that fact.

Ten hours.

People love babies

Life goes on

Katie is still having some pretty good contractions. “Still” isn’t really the right word for it, since I guess she’ll be having them until Charlotte is born, and they’ll presumably gradually get stronger as time goes on. I just hope she is able to sleep and eat well; she’ll need her strength.

Meanwhile, I had to go to the pet store today; the archetypal mundane chore. I was annoyed this morning by the jarring sound of the doorbell interrupting our morning peace, but it turned out to be our very nice neighbor who informed us that the dogs were playing in the street. Well, it turns out they were also rolling around in vile smelling odor. They now have new batteries for their collars and soon will be clean as well.

Life goes on.

The day after

Well, Katie and I got tons of sleep. Personally, I slept from about 8:30 last night till 9 this morning. Nice. And Katie said her sleep was as deep as she’s had in months.

And now my job is to convince Katie that she really doesn’t need to be doing anything other than relaxing, which she is doing at the moment.

She’s back to having contractions - roughly 10-12 an hour. And she’s feeling pretty bummed at the thought that they’re not accomplishing anything discernible. I keep reminding her that they are doing exactly what her body needs, but that is little consolation when they’re so exhausting. At least we’re at home, I guess.

It’s extremely likely that the baby will be born in the next few days, but I’m really hoping we can make it until Tuesday so we can have her at Lisa Ross.

And now I’m trying to clean what needs to be cleaned, and I can’t decide if I’m annoyed or relieved that it’s too wet outside to mow the lawn or trim the hedges. What I can’t avoid doing today, though, is cleaning the dogs, who managed overnight to roll in something foul-smelling.

The air has a weird tinge to it today - the feeling that something big didn’t happen but might still. And even though we’re at home, I still feel almost like I’m on the edge of my seat.

And we’re extremely grateful for all the well-wishes sent and food brought by. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that so many people are thinking about us!

Back home

Thanks so much for everyone’s well wishes!

Katie and I are back home. After more than 24 hours of preterm labor that refused to go away while simultaneously refusing to accomplish anything, the midwives drugged Katie up and sent us home to rest. My guess is that’s it for today; she will sleep the rest of the day and nothing else will happen for now.

But really no one knows anything. We could be back in the hospital tonight or we might still be waiting weeks from now. The magic date for delivery at Lisa Ross is just a few days away (they moved it up, but I didn’t hear what to), so that’s when I’m hoping for.

And until then, Katie rests. And for now, we will both rest. It’s good to be home.

The last 24 hours have brought a roller coaster of emotions. We were just coming to terms with the baby’s precipitant arrival and now we’re adjusting to home without her. Of course it’s best that she cook a little longer, I just hope the next time we have to go see the midwives, we’ll come home with better news.

Highlight of the day thus far

… watching an hour of the Cosby Show with Katie at three in the morning.

Denise got married! And she has a step-daughter!

The ultimate game of hurry up and wait

At work today, I got an email from Katie that she was “feeling weird.”

Yep. She was feeling weird, and that wasn’t good. Because she’d been having contractions, too. And when she told the midwife she was feeling weird and having contractions, the midwife politely asked why they were talking on the phone instead of in person.

Since Charlotte’s due date wasn’t till the last week of August, the midwife did what she could to stop the contractions. But it just wasn’t happening. No sir, not today.

So off we went to the hospital. And that’s when the fun started. You see, at the hospital, we were promptly notified that Charlotte had chosen the trip over to flip back in the wrong direction.

Conundrum.

The contractions weren’t stopping, so the baby was coming. But the baby was coming in the wrong direction. You can choose a C section, or you can try to manually flip the baby.

Now, for those unfamiliar with “manually” flipping the baby, that means the doctor essentially moves the baby by pushing and prodding at your stomach. It’s not pretty. And it hurts. And that’s why most women get epidurals when the baby has to be turned manually. That and because the epidural relaxes you and makes the baby easier to turn.

But we really hadn’t wanted an epidural. And if the turning failed, we’d have to go in for an immediate C section. So we could risk not getting an epidural, but that increased the chances of even more intervention.

Well, to make a long story short, with the assistance of an epidural the doctor had no trouble flipping the baby.

But … presumably because of the epidural (and not being able to eat, and not being able to stand or really change positions), the regular contractions that had been coming strongly every three minutes slowed way way down and then had to be brought back up with the help of more drugs.

And that’s where we are now - two centimeters for probably six hours.

Can anybody guess where I am?

I’ll give you a hint. It’s a place I wasn’t expecting to visit for another month, to meet someone who wasn’t supposed to come this soon.

Any guesses?

Former coffee shop owner wannabe

I’ve never particularly felt called to “do” anything in life. I love my life. I love my family and friends. And I like my job ok. But I think I could’ve just as well done something else, if there was just anything else out there more compelling.

The one time in my life when I felt called to a job was in college, when I went through a huge coffee shop phase. Coffee was one of my favorite things in the world, and I felt lucky that I could start my day every day with a warm cup of joe.

My sophomore Christmas break saw me hanging out daily at the 11th Street Expresso House, a cute little coffee shop in an old victorian near campus. I’d get there not long after they opened and stay for a few hours, drinking coffee and reading Anna Karenina. I look back at that month as one of the best times in my life. Granted, I’d just had my computer stolen at school and the girl I’d been dating for some time had just dumped me. But at the coffee shop, none of that existed. That was before wifi, and I could forget the cares of the world and pour myself my own coffee at my favorite hangout. And I thought the coolest thing in the world would be to open a coffee shop of my own.

Well, times change. Before I graduated college, my stomach had decided it didn’t like coffee so much, and what had been a regular staple since I was 14 became a distant memory. Now I drink tea, and there’s not a lot of point in going to a coffee shop for hot tea. I don’t think I’ve sat down in a coffee shop more than once or twice a year in the last five years, and I’m not making plans for opening a coffee shop any time soon.

But just the thought of those mornings at 11th Street makes me smile. I don’t miss the coffee, but I do miss the dream.